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For today, i suppose to be go out count down with my frens, but i didnt, because of im not really like the crowdy place, sorry bout that..

Actually i not really know the date, coz usually we celebrate grandma’s birthday according to the date on lunar calandar. Until when I went back for funeral of her, i asked my younger brother, "how is she dead", "something like internal organ bleeding", he said.

"And did she celebrate this year birthday?"Im dont know bout it, since that im not in penang. "she’s birthday is on 24th, do u think did she?"

She’s dead on 16 Dec, 10.13 a.m. It’s the massive upper gastrointestinal bleed (sounds more like respiration system bleed, well, im not good in bio) which took her life away. grandma, if u are still here, you would have a best birthday celebration than ever, cause everybody are prepared everything for this. But, ur health condition are not allow you to do so…

The celebration is still carry on, today, mom told me that. well, i wonder how would her birthday celebration looks like, but what i know is, it’s more different from before, without the main character in it,( or maybe she is there, nobody’s know) and the atmosphere, is quiet, and sorrow..

although i cant attended ur birthday, and sorry for i miss out ur birthday last 2 years, but still i wan to say this: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GRANDMA …

“薤上露，何易晞！露晞明朝更复落，人死一去何时归！”《薤露》

.. just heard something from my bro, on messenger. My grandma, who is suffered form  various illness, was sent to hospital coz was founded that she was having internal bleeding on digestion system. And she will feel no more pain, suffer, anymore …

I dont know what i am thinking, what i am going to do, neither to cry out wildly, nor feel sorry . it just makes me feel uneasy, but i would nt refered it as "sad"..

Well, i wonder what my mom is doing, for her only parent , who is taking care since my grandpa is passed away when my mom was only 7.

Mom just phoned me, and maybe i will back to penang, after the physics mid term test..

She is the only grandparent that i have, she always take care of me more than other grandson (i think, probably), well… dont know how to say bout it, however, ama, rest in peace